Julia’s Man - Florida 70.3

Saturday, June 15th 2024.

Early morning.

I set Ruari up with some fruit and a pancake in front of some Saturday morning cartoons while I simultaneously packed a suitcase for our trip to Scotland and put together transition boxes for the planned half-ironman distance triathlon I was going to attempt on Sunday.

And then the sound of vomiting from the living room…

Ruari had some kind of stomach bug. While throwing up in the toilet he coughs in my face, and I closed my eyes with a resignation that any parent anticipating the impending kid-contagion knows too well. 

“Daddy I’m scared of being sick,” he says, not just with that childlike concern of being ill, even as adults we still feel putrid and close to death and as though there is no end in sight when throwing up, but the weight in his voice is that of a kid that knows sometimes sick sometimes means something different.

While Ruari slept off some of his sickness in the middle of the day, I powered through setting up transition boxes, and counted out the amount of calories and gels I would need and when I would take them. And I managed to pack most of our suitcase for Scotland. When Ruari woke up, we watched Disney films and ate saltines and pedialyte popsicles for the rest of the day.

It seemed a fitting start to my half-ironman effort, which began as a way to remain the person I was as my wife’s caregiver, taking care of my sick kid. By the end of the day I was exhausted, and anxious about whether I would be well enough to race on the following day, but I was still committed.

Sunday, June 16th 2024 - Race Day - 7.00am

Iris came over early to help with Ruari, he was feeling much better but still tired and wanting to rest.

I had an espresso with some porridge early in the morning, then I drank a whole glass of water with LiquidIV and sucked down a sports gel 30 minutes before I was going to start the swim.

I pushed the bike down to the community dock while carrying a snoozy 4 year old in the other arm, Iris carried down my transition box.

My father-in-law waited on the lake on a wet bike for some safety from boats, gators and fatigue and I was quick to get started - it was already 86 degrees and it was only going to get hotter.

Swim - 1.2 miles - 7.30am

I set off anti-clockwise, swimming halfway up the slalom buoys before taking a sharp right turn towards the other side of the lake. The water was warm throughout the swim, with the organic sulfur smell of a Florida lake and occasionally swimming through some underwater weeds, but for the most part it was a really nice swim. I don’t use my legs much when I move so that I can save them for cycling and running.

This was only my second open water swim, and my longest ever continuous swim, and I finished it in 43 minutes and 10 seconds. A quick pee in the bushes, then a hug to Ruari, and I set off on the bike.

The Bike to Sugarloaf - 56 miles - 8.20am

The bike route took me around some lakes and through the city of Mount Dora, and on this early Sunday morning I hit every green light on the way through town.

My plan was to drink one bottle of water with a Liquid IV packet per hour on the bike, and I had four bottles on the bike just in case. I also had one gel roughly around every 45 minutes.

For a place that’s known for being incredibly flat, for some reason I had designed the route to go up Sugarloaf Mountain (which is not ironically named, like Mount Dora) not once but twice. The roads there are quiet and popular with cyclists and I passed more than 50 road cyclists on this part of the triathlon.

I saw many roadkill armadillos and snakes, and even saw a couple gators in the canals near Lake Apopka as I passed quickly by. I prefer to look at the sky, to see the swallow-tailed kites, ospreys and red shouldered hawks.

My first time up the first serious hill on this route (Sugarloaf Mount the Real Climb, No Flat Sections on Strava), which is 660m at an 8.4% grade, there was another cyclist ahead of me that I caught up with and overtook. It was tough but fun, though in my eagerness I was close to overdoing it too early on the bike. I did this stretch in 3 minutes 19 seconds but the best part is, pretty soon after, there’s a downhill stretch that I got up to 41 mph going down. It had rained heavily the day before so the road was pretty washed out with sand, but again, I was having fun and feeling very eager.

My second time round Sugarloaf (The Real Climb, No Flat Sections) I was more than a minute slower (4 minutes 32 seconds) but I was still feeling strong, if not pretty hot. At this point it was 88 degrees and the sun was getting higher and I could feel the salt drying on my face.

I was incredibly happy with my pace all the way through both loops of Sugarloaf. I wasn’t feeling fatigue or succumbing to the heat in the same way I had in my training rides up Sugarloaf. Being strict with hydration and nutrition was definitely essential.

It was only in the last 15 miles, after leaving Sugarloaf and heading back into Mount Dora, that the fatigue really started to hit. 

It was at this point I started to think more about the fact that it was Father’s Day. I’m proud to be the person who sets goals and goes after them, and that Ruari has a father who is dedicated and capable, yet also selfless and loving. I also thought of a new friend I made at the Eden Abby Run Club in Mount Dora the week before - another runner who had recently lost his father to Glioblastoma. I hoped he was approaching this day with some intentionality and fondness amongst the grief too.

I managed to keep a reasonable time on the bike and finished the 56 miles in 3 hours 17 minutes and 05 seconds.

The Run to Hidden Waters - 13.1 miles - 11.42am

The transition to the run started from the carpark to Ruari’s school with my in-laws and Iris waiting with my transition box. Ruari had fallen asleep in the car, and as much as I wanted to know how he was doing and if he was okay, I trusted that Iris was on top of it and put on my running shoes, my headphones, and ate three quarters of a Honey Stinger Waffle, then set off.

I started out pretty strong, not out of eagerness but because I actually felt strong. Despite the heat (and the fatigue from swimming and cycling), I finished the first mile in 8 minutes 19 seconds, which was faster than what I had planned for but, like I said, I felt good.

Mile 2 - 9 minutes 02 seconds

Mile 3 - 9 minutes 31 seconds

Mile 4 - 10 minutes 18 seconds…

I had run from Ruari’s school then passed the high school where I went as an exchange student in 2009. I ran down the road with the tree tunnel that took us home from the library (Julia’s favorite stretch of road in town) and into some of the neighborhoods around the lakes of Mount Dora.

At mile 4, the little handheld water bottle I was carrying was empty and, ironically, I badly needed to pee.

There are no aid stations when you do a half-ironman on your own like this.

This half-marathon route was my first time running these roads and it was much hillier than I had anticipated.

I thought that maybe, because it was Sunday, there would be folks out on the lakes with coolers, and that they might offer me some water as I ran past. Or maybe there would be some kids playing with a hose in their yard and would offer to spray me. Or maybe, hopefully, someone might have their irrigation on and I could run through.

The salt from all the sweat had crystallized on my tri-suit, on my skin, in my fair. I could feel it when I rubbed my face or squinted in the sun; every time my face creased the salt broke, crunchy. 

Mile 5 - 12 minutes 22 seconds

By this point, I was half walking and half jogging. I was starting to consider stopping. What was my threshold for dropping out? What level of heat exposure could I tolerate before calling a DNF?

I had no water, I was 5 hours into a half-ironman, and the “feels like” temperature was at 92 degrees.

I thought to myself - Why the fuck are you still going? You’re the only person that cares about this? This is stupid hard, and if you keep pushing yourself in this heat you risk hurting yourself, why are you still going?

I was thinking about how hard I would push myself, whether it was worth the risk of collapse to keep going another 8 miles.

But I responded to myself, good! This should never have been easy, I should never have assumed or taken for granted that I would finish this. The fact that I might have to stop only makes this more significant.

Fortunately, there was an oasis on the horizon - a WaWa gas station where I could pay for a Gatorade with my phone.

The water in the faucet in the mens bathroom only ran hot, so there was no possibility of splashing cold water on my face. I bought two big blue Gatorades and downed one, filled my handheld with some of the other, and then carried it with me for the next 5 miles, periodically drinking then pouring the bright blue (but, importantly, cold) liquid over my hair and down my back.

Again, the route took me down roads that Julia and I used to detour down. When driving, we preferred to curve around the lakes and look at the wildlife and the reflection of the sky on the surface, rather than take the straight state roads past the strip malls and chain restaurants.

As much as I was missing my wife at this moment, I was also just so grateful that I was able to do this.

As hard as it was, as rough as I was feeling and as close to giving up as I was, I was just so grateful. Grateful that I am here, that my body is healthy, that I get to challenge myself in this way.

The miles were still getting harder but it was starting to feel doable now that I had some hydration. But I don’t train with Gatorade and it was a mistake to drink it so quickly - it had caused a cramp in my gut that felt worse whenever my feet struck the pavement.

This fucking sucked but at least I knew I could finish it now.

Mile 11 - 14 minutes 07 seconds

Mile 12 - 15 minutes 52 seconds

I made it to Hidden Waters just as I ran out of Gatorade. Hidden Waters had been an important place to me while I was Julia’s caregiver, it’s where I was when she died, and it played a vital role in the early days of understanding my grief - it made sense to finish the half ironman here.

The half-marathon route finished with just over a lap of the 1.4 mile Perimeter Loop. My record on Strava for this segment is 9 minutes 53 seconds but, finishing the half-ironman, I managed it in 16 minutes 48 seconds.

I finished with Ruari, Iris, and the in-laws cheering me on as I walked it home. 

I was relieved to have finished, disappointed to finish feeling so depleted, anxious about doing it all again later that week and in a different country.

To my sweet relief, my father-in-law sprayed me with ice cold champagne, then I chugged a can of coconut water and hugged my son.

I went home and showered. Iris and Ruari had a nice day together, and they made me some nice crafts for Fathers Day.

Ruari and I spent the evening cuddled on the couch watching Moana, thinking of Mommy and eating pizza - we were both feeling much better.

You can find the routes and stats on Garmin at this link.