On Your Bike
I bought a new bike. It’s nothing fancy. It was at the higher end of my budget but the very low end of what is on offer these days, but I’m very happy with it.
Triathlon can be a brutally expensive sport, mostly because it’s three separate sports each with their own niche costs (then there’s the amount of food and gels consumed for endurance sports, and not to mention entry fees for events).
I happened to get lucky. When we moved to our new home, we moved next to a multi-Ironman who had moved on to new physical challenges. He knew I wanted to pursue an Ironman and was happy to pass down his bikes and indoor trainer.
Cost was never going to be an excuse to not get started in triathlon. Possessing 70.3-level endurance was the goal, not the Ironman moniker, nor a competitive time, nor fancy looking equipment. What has always been important to me is that I was fit enough to finish a 70.3, not what bike got me through it; it was about the person pedaling, not the bike.
So for the past year I’ve been training on a 20+ year old CF Fuji bike with a slightly too small frame and on an equally old indoor trainer, and I’ve loved every sweaty session.
But part of taking Julia’s Man seriously is the validation that comes with giving myself the appropriate tools, taking myself seriously, and not diminishing the personal significance of what this challenge means to me.
Before, I felt like I was dipping my toes in the water. Now, when I put on my tri suit and get on my new bike, I feel like a triathlete and it feels great.
Treat Yo’ Self
As a caregiver, it can feel counterproductive to choose yourself over someone you’re taking care of. It was hard for me to take time for myself; I never prioritized myself because it felt selfish. The focus was on Julia, the focus was on our son; anything that was just for me made me feel guilty.
Even when I did start to introduce things for myself, it was with the validation of the “life-mask principle” - that you should take care of yourself first so that you can then help others. Self-care was justified as a way to help me show up to be my best self, still for other people. Sleep well, eat well, exercise, take care of my mental health so that I can show up for Julia and our son.
But self care is not selfish.
Middle Aged Man in Lycra (or Thereabouts)
Even now, I justify the expense as I’m doing this for charity, and I’m doing this to make myself feel like I’m still showing up in a positive, healthy way for Julia.
But there’s something different about the feeling I get when I’m actually riding a bike. Something where I know it really is just for me.
Over the winter, on the long bike sessions on the indoor trainer, I liked to watch the backcountry ski videos of Nikolai Schirmer. Now I’ve been watching Thereabouts - a video series from pro road cyclist brothers from Australia, Gus and Lachlan Morton. A big part of their journey is rediscovering the fun in cycling, and choosing to go on cycling adventures not because they have to but because they get to.
I love cycling. It was how I got around rural Scotland growing up. After school and weekends were spent mountain biking trails, or hanging out at the dirt jumps. Road cycling in Florida is a far cry from what I’m used to but it’s still just 2 wheels, powered by my own endurance, and it’s just for me.
